Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
the Church of the Subgenius
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Thursday, May 1, 2008
To all you haters
For those..haters
Those dirty looks
The jealous stares
The funny part is
You think i care
I'll keep it real & thats a promise
I maybe a bitch but at least I'm honest
I'd rather be a bitch
Then a hoe
Im known for what i do
Not for who i screw
Some say im a bitch
Yeah i might be
But i don't remember asking
Any of u hoes to like me
When i walk by,haters stare
Keep looking cause i don't care
I got my own life & my own style
Im not trying to please you or make u smile
You hoes wanna hate
Knock yourselves out.
But remember,
My name isnt Dick
So keep it outta ur mouth
a little voice over matter
Shake the haters, fuck the boys ` dont talk shiit!
only speak what you know> drop it, hoes pop it, rest follow it ...
got my name in your mouth, fucking swallow it !
If you don`t like me remember its [mind over matter]
I don`t [mind] & you don`t [matter]
to aLl the weEd thAt ive smOked, yO this blUnts fOr yoU,
to all the people i've offended - yah fuck you too to all the friends i used
to have - yo i miss my past but the rest of you assholes can kiss my asss
for all the drugs that i've done - yo im still gunna do, to all the people ive
offended - yah fuck you too! to everytime i reminisce - yo i miss my past
buuutt i stiiill donnnt giive a fuuuckk , yaa'll caan kiisss my ass
`kiss him, diss him, screw him, ditch him.
its not like you would ever miss him,
get him all worked up then tell him your through,
sorry boys, girls can be playas too.
Shake the haters, fuck the boys ` dont talk shiit!
only speak what you know> drop it, hoes pop it, rest follow it ...
got my name in your mouth, fucking swallow it !
If you don`t like me remember its [mind over matter]
I don`t [mind] & you don`t [matter]
Hustlin and gamblin, drinking' and scramblin'
And losin sight of what I supposed to be handlin'
It's hard to manage cause every days a challenge
And just because im real pretty
With some big ass titties
Don't mean I won't fuck you up
I bet you won't be lookin' so HOT
When I knock you out and make you say WHAT?!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Thukeri
This is a story about two men who lived on the shores of Lake Alexandrina. They belonged to the Ngarrindjerri people.
The two men set off in their bark canoe to go fishing on the lake. They travelled along on the calm, cool waters until they came to their favourite fishing place, called Loveday Bay, where they always caught the best and most delicious bream fish. In their language, this fish is called Thukeri.
They found a good sheltered spot among some high reeds. They had made their own fishing lines, called nungi, from cords they had made from the reeds. They used very sharp bird bones for hooks.
They knew the women were collecting vegetable plants to eat with the fish.
As the day went on the two men sat there catching more and more fat, juicy Thukeri. They were having such a wonderful day catching so many fish and wanted to keep catching more and more, but the canoe was almost full and looked like it would sink.
As they paddled in closer to shore, they could see a stranger in the distance. He seemed to be walking straight towards them. The two men looked at each other; what if this stranger wanted some of their beautiful, juicy Thukeri?
They were greedy and decided not to share with the stranger. They decided to keep all the fat, lovely Silver Bream for themselves and quickly covered the fish up with their woven mats so that the stranger would not see them. When the stranger came up to the two men he said, 'Hello, brothers. I haven't eaten anything at all today. Could you spare me a couple of fish?'
The two men looked at each other and at the mats hiding the Thukeri. They turned to the stranger and one of them said, 'I'm sorry, friend, but we caught only a few fish today and we have to take them home for our wives and children and the old people, because they are depending on us. So, you see, we can't give you any.'
The stranger stood there for a long while and then started to walk away. He stopped, turned around and stared at them. 'You lied,' he said. 'I know that you have plenty of fish in your canoe. Because you are so greedy, you will never be able to enjoy those Thukeri ever again.'
The two men stood there, puzzled, as the stranger walked away into the sunset. They shrugged their shoulders, then quickly took off the mats and began to gut the fish. But as they did this, they found that these beautiful silver Thukeri were so full of sharp, thin bones that they couldn't eat them.
'What are we going to do? We can't take these home to our families, they'll choke on them.' So the two men had to return home in shame with only the bony fish. When they got home, they told their families what had happened. The old people told them that the stranger was really the Great Spirit called Ngurunderi. Now all the Ngarrindjeri people would be punished for ever, because the two men were so greedy.
And so today, whenever people catch a bony bream, they are reminded of long ago, when Ngurunderi taught them a lesson.
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Min-na-wee (Why the crocodile rolls)
As the last rays of the beautiful red-pink sun set on the small camp and the sweeping coastal plain, all the little girls played, enjoying themselves.
All the young boys were with their fathers, learning the ways of manhood. The mothers were preparing for the evening meal. There was fresh fish cooking on the coals, with freshly-caught mud crabs and mussels.
Everyone in the group was contented, the season had been good for them. Plenty of fresh food. Everyone except little Min-na-wee was happy.
Min-na-wee was different. From a little girl, Min-na-wee liked to cause trouble amongst the other little girls. Min-na-wee's face was so hard and scaly-looking, it mostly revealed her hatred.
The old people knew of Min-na-wee's efforts to start trouble, which led to fights. Not only among the little girls, but also their mothers.
The old people warned Min-na-wee's mother that if she did not stop Min-na-wee making humbug, then something terrible would happen to her.
Years passed and Min-na-wee grew into a young woman, but she still liked to cause trouble. One day all the young women, including Min-na-wee, had to prepare to be selected as brides. Min-na-wee stood in a line with all the other girls. The old people pointed out which men were to marry which women. By the end of the ceremony, Min-na-wee was left standing alone. She had not been chosen to become a wife.
Min-na-wee's hatred grew stronger and stronger. She caused more and more trouble in the camp. Fights were breaking out every day amongst the tribe. Min-na-wee sat back in her little humpy and watched. She was pleased with herself.
The Elders of the tribe agreed that Min-na-wee must be punished for what she had done.
Min-na-wee had little knowledge of the tribe's decision. As she approached the women to cause another fight, she was grabbed by the men and rolled around and around in the dirt.
She managed to escape and run in to the edge of the sea where she called on the evil spirits to change her into a vicious animal so she could stage a revenge attack on her tribe. Min-na-wee was changed into a large crocodile and slid into the muddy waters, awaiting her prey.
The tribespeople thought no more of Min-na-wee and carried out their daily events. As they wandered along the banks, hunting for mud crabs, Min-na-wee lay waiting. One of the men who had taken part in Min-na-wee's punishment jumped into the water. Min-na-wee crept up behind and grabbed him. She told him she would roll him around and around, as he had done to her. Over and over, she continued to roll him in the water, until she was satisfied he was punished enough.
To this day, Min-na-wee's spirit still remains with the crocodiles and that is why every time that a crocodile catches its prey, it always will roll around and around in the water.
The Two Wise Men and the Seven Sisters
In the beginning of Yulbrada, the Earth, the Creator, Jindoo-the Sun, sent two Spirit men, Woddee Gooth-tha-rra, to shape it. They were from the far end of the Milky Way.
They made the hills, the valleys, the lakes and the ocean. When they had nearly completed their work, Jindoo the Creator sent seven sisters, stars of the Milky Way, to beautify the earth with flowers, with trees, with birds, animals and other creepy things.
The Seven Sisters were making the Honey Ants when they all got thirsty and they said to the younger sister, 'Go and look for some gubbee, some nice water. Over there, in the hills. Go in that direction'. The little young sister took the yandee dish and she went in search of the water.
The Woddee Gooth-tha-rra, the two spirit men, they were in the bushes and they were spying on these women. They followed the minyma Goothoo, the younger sister, when she went for the water.
This young sister, she fell in love with the two men. The other six sisters went looking for their sister, because she had been gone for so long. They wondered where she might be. They were really very thirsty and they needed their water. After a while, they found her with the two spirit men.
The Creator, Jindoo the Sun, had warned them that should such a thing happen to any one of the sisters, she would not be able to return to her place in the Milky Way. When the six sisters finished their work, they returned to the Milky Way. The two men and the woman remained here on Yulbrada, the earth. Their special powers were taken away when they became mortal. They became the parents of the earth, who made our laws and our people-the desert people. They live by these laws today.
This is why the people of the desert have such knowledge and respect of the stars in the universe.
Koockard (Goanna)
This is another Dreamtime story belonging to Ngiyaampaa and it's called Koockard.
Long, long time ago, two little nephews asked their old uncle to take them out and camp on the river so that he could teach them how to make their spears and woomeras and their boomerangs. Also to teach them to go hunting and how to identify the tracks of the animals.
Old uncle, he tried to put it off because they were too young, he thought, only eight years old. But the two little nephews, they kept pestering old uncle, 'We've got to go, we must go now. Come on, we'll go out tonight.' So old uncle gave in and he said, 'Okay, we'll go out and we'll set up camp on the river bend. Once we get our camp set up, we'll make our brush gunyah, then we'll go for a walk around the river bend and find some nice straight sticks to make your spears out of.'
So when they got out along the river bend and got their gunyah made, old uncle said, 'Come on, we'll go and find our straight sticks. Now remember, don't look for crooked ones, don't run and get any old stick. You must get a nice straight stick to make your spear out of.'
The two little fellas walked around the river bend looking for nice straight saplings to make their spear out of and when they found it, old uncle went up and he chopped it off with his stone axe. He showed the little fellas how to sit down and take all the bark off the saplings and trim them up nice and get all the notches off. He also showed them how to make the woomera, the little stick they needed to sit the spear in so they could spear the kangaroo or emu or whatever they were hunting for.
When they had that done, old uncle said, 'Come on, we'll go back to camp now and tomorrow morning we'll go out hunting.' But the two little boys were really impatient and they said, 'Oh come on uncle, let us go now. Let' us go for a walk around the river bend and see if we can find a kangaroo.' Old uncle said, 'No, wait 'til the morning and I'll go too'. 'No, we'll go, uncle. We'll bring back whatever we find.'
So old uncle said to them when they were ready to go, 'Listen. When you go walking around the river bends, there's something I want you to be very, very careful of. You must promise me that you will never, ever hurt it or harm it.' They looked at one another as much as to say 'what's he talking about?' Uncle said, 'old Koockard, the great big river goanna. If ever you come across him, you must promise you'll never hurt him or harm him in any way.' So the two little boys looked at their uncle and they promised him, 'okay uncle, we won't hurt him or harm him.'
They went off, walking around the river bend, right around the river bend they kept walking. In those times the grass used to grow nice and tall. So they're walking around the river bends, they got around the third bend and they saw the tall grass moving really quickly and then stop. The two little fellas stood back and said, 'that might be a kangaroo over there. Let us creep up and see what's going on, what's making the grass move.'
As they started creeping in towards where the grass was moving, the grass moved again, really quickly, then stopped. They got in a bit further and all of a sudden they came across old Koockard's tail. That big river goanna, his tail was sticking out.
So they backed back, and the two little fellas said to one another, 'remember what uncle told us? If ever we come across old Koockard we mustn't harm him or hurt him.' And they said, 'Yeah, but what if we have some fun with him? You get your spear and creep up right up around this side of old Koockard, to his left arm, level with his left should and you lie down still. I'll get my spear and I'll go around this side, to his right arm. I'll crouch down there and when old Koockard puts his head down to bite the meat that he was eating (because this was what was happening. Koockard was putting his mouth down and biting the dead meat and shaking all the ants off it before he swallowed it and this made the grass move).
The two little fellas said, 'we'll go up there. We'll have some fun with him. When he puts his head down to bite the meat, you tickle him under the arm with your spear. When he's settled down again and he takes another bite, I'll tickle him under this side with my spear.'
The two little fellas agreed to do this, so they snuck up and crouched down and as soon as old Koockard reached down to take a bite of the dead kangaroo, the little fella tickled him under the arm. So Koockard jumped up and he was looking around to see what stuck into him, but he was looking over the top of the tall grass so he couldn't see the little boy lying down in the grass alongside of him.
He settled down again and he took another bite and the little boy on the other side tickled him on that side. Koockard jumped up again and he was looking around, but because the grass was high, he couldn't see.
They kept going. One would tickle him on one side and the other would tickle him on the other side.
Then one little boy, he got a fit of the giggles and he couldn't stop laughing. He rolled over and as he rolled, his spear hit on a log. So Koockard jumped and he spun right around in a big circle and he flattened the two little boys.
Sitting in a gum tree close by were two Kookaburras and up until that time they couldn't laugh. But as soon as they saw what happened to the two little boys, they just looked at one another and burst out laughing.
So that's the Dreamtime story of how the Kookaburras got their laugh.
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